Women Jokes About Men

Men has always been shown as a funny character in jokes. Women loves to crack jokes on men when ever they sit in a group of friends and family. Sharing jokes about men makes them feel happy or you can say it has become a reason of togetherness for women’s.  There are numerous jokes cracked on men by women and this trend is now becoming more and more popular in many parts around the world.

We have got some funny and full of laughter jokes about men, which will take you to the another level of happiness and fun.

women jokes about men

#.How many men does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

He just holds the bulb up to the light fitting and waits for the room to revolve around him.

#. A woman goes out to buy a gun.

“It’s for my husband.” she explained to the shop owner.

“But, madam, guns are very personal. They need to be properly suited to their owner. Why not bring your husband along?”

“Because it would ruin the surprise: he doesn’t even know I’m going to shoot him.”

#.what’s the difference between a smart man and a stupid man?

Nothing! They both think they know everything.

#.Why do men always have to gaze at other women? Again, this is a hormonal thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I’m fairly certain it’s some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

#.What’s a man’s idea of honesty in a relationship?

Telling you his real name.

#. When a man opens the door of his car for his woman, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the woman.

#.Why is hangover better than men?
Hangover will go away.

#.When does a man develop a brain?
The day he gets married.

#.How does a man show he’s planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

#. Did you hear about the two men who went ice fishing?
They caught 200 pounds of ice, but drowned when they tried to cook it

#.What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

#.Q) Why do men die before their wives?
A) They want to.

#. Why don’t men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence

#.A professor of mathematics left this letter on the kitchen counter.

Dear Wife,
You must realize that you are a 56 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy.  I am otherwise happy with you as a wife and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Hilton Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant.  I’ll be home before midnight.
     Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband,
You, too, are 56 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Sheraton Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy.  Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18.  Therefore, don’t wait up.

     Your Wife

#.One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news”, God said.

Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first.”

Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.”

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, “These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?”

God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, “The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time”

#. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another: “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
The other replied: “Yes I am, I married the wrong man

#. Q)  Besides his dog, what’s man’s best friend?
A)  His hand.

#.Woman1: “Do you ever talk to your man during sex?”

Woman2: “Only if he phones me….

# Why are blond jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

#.Why do men need sports action replays 30 seconds after the event?

Because they’ve forgotten what happened.

#. Q: What’s the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don’t turn into men when they’re drunk.

#. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One….men will screw anything.

#. What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.

#. What’s the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds mature.

#.What’s a man’s favorite four-letter word that ends in ‘K’ when it comes to sex?

Talk.

#.Once upon a time there was a female brain cell which by mistake happened to end up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

“Hello?” she cried, but no answer.

“Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled: “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?”

Then she heard a voice from far, far away: “Hello, we’re down here.

#.Q) How does a man take a bubble bath?
A)  He eats beans for dinner.

#.Three words guaranteed to destroy any man’s ego: “Is it in?”
Three words most hated by men (after “Is it in?”): “Are you done?

#.Q) Why did the woman wear black to bed?
A)  To mourn the dead prick beside her.

#. How does man exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

#. What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

 

 

 

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