The issue of infidelity is not new to our society. The world that we live in no more believes in the concept of true love. It is bound and driven by the force of personal gratification. No one knows why, but this concept seems to be permanently instilled in our minds. The world has long back migrated from the world of Romeo and Juliet. With the advent of modern thinking and living, the world has moved away from the institution of marriage. Casual sex, free booze etc, are the only sources of entertainment that the modern world is left with.
With growing vulgarity around us, it was just a matter of time for these things to become part of our culture. From newspapers, magazines to movies, everything is full of things which were once considered to be done behind the closed doors and between husbands and wives. Now things have become so open that even family entertainment is full of nudity. One of the many cases that have always been a matter of concern for the society is; why women have affairs with married men? In order to understand the seriousness of the question let’s look at what the recent survey on the causes of divorce say. 70- 80% of divorces happen because married men were caught having extra- marital affairs. It was also noted that women usually preferred married men over bachelors. This trend has been a consistent topic of debate for scholars and of tension for wives. A survey was done in order to find the reason behind this trend. It was discovered that;
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One of the prime reasons for women choosing to have affairs with married men is that they want someone who is mature. Usually men behave like babies and this really puts off their girlfriends who have to take care of them as their mommies. Women need and long to be in love or just in relationship with a man who has the advantage of age and who shows maturity in handling tough situations. Marriage teaches everyone maturity and how to survive in adverse situations. This hard gained quality of married men is an instant hit among women other than the wife.
At times marriage goes through rough patches. Both, the husband and wife need support, love and appreciation in a relationship. When these things start to fade, the marriage starts to fail. It is at times like these that most of the married men stray away to find some kind of peace, outside marriage. Men also have an equal part in this as they try to find a getaway from the cobwebs of marriage. What women who have affairs with these married men fail to realize is that though they are mature but they are runner to. When the going gets tough, they get going! However, maturity is something that attracts women in married men.
2. No Commitments:
A relationship without commitments is what women get in having affair with married men. They no longer have to be accountable in a relationship. Every one of them has their own lives and no one usually dares to intrude it. They are together as long as everything is lovely and beautiful. A man also shows very less interest in their ‘partners’ lives and hence both of them share a good amount of space and freedom. Men fall for these things as they often feel chained in their marriages due to constant fights with their spouses. To find a woman who neither complains nor intrudes becomes their only fantasy and when they get something like this outside marriage, they just grab on to the opportunity.
3. Sexual Needs:
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90% of women have affairs with married men in order to fulfil their sexual needs. Gone are the days when sex was considered to be sacred. Now people indulge in sex for fun or to pass time. Women in their desperation to find pleasure in sex get hooked with married men. As married men have a vast experience of sex, women find it extremely irresistible to get away from a married man. Similarly, men also have sex outside marriage to satisfy their sexual needs and fulfil their fantasies. It has been noted that most men stray from their wives during pregnancy time.
When two people get married they share more than just lives, a couple can become each other’s confidant and best friend, who share their deepest secrets and silliest fancies with each other. In arranged marriages it is important to know your partner well so that an intimacy is developed between the two. People usually marry only to fulfil a duty or an obligation. This results in boredom and straying away. There are cases when an older woman dates a college hunk or a middle aged man dates a young girl. Most of these cases happen when there is a lack of communication and dissatisfaction.
4. Emotional Support:
Women find a strong emotional support in married men. With maturity being the prime reason of their attraction followed by sexual needs, there is one need that everyone needs. Emotional needs at times become more desperate and urgent. Men and women have always wanted to be in a relationship where they can be free from inside, from the fears and where their emotional needs can be satisfied. Whenever this need is not met, it results into men and women straying from their relationships.
Women when they don’t get emotionally satisfied in their relationship, look towards married men in order to meet their emotional needs. Married men, when they don’t get any kind of love or care or emotional support from their marriage, they tend to look for it outside their marriage. Most of the cases have a common thread attached to it. The problem of emotions is a very important need of every man and woman and which has to be met. With married men looking for some respite from daily fights or tensions in their marriage, it becomes almost a spontaneous choice for them to look elsewhere. The growing stress in the world is the reason for many people suffering from depression or anxiety. As Paulo Coehelo said, ‘emotions are like wild horses!’ If you don’t tame your emotions, then they will tame you.