Relationship takes its own coarse to build up. As you work out your relationship with your boyfriend, you may be encountering a number of problems. The most chronic of the problems that usually girlfriends suffer is hatred or indifference from their boyfriend’s friends. If you are also one of them who is struggling with this problem and don’t know how to go about it, then this article will interest you. Guys usually find it very unusual to see their friend not spending much time with them. They are, in a way, very possessive of their friends. The problem might or might not be with you.
When a relationship blossoms, a couple wants to spend time with one another. This intimacy many times gets in between the friendship of the guy and his friends start retaliating. At times there comes a rift between friends and they blame the girl for creating divides. Sometimes girls are too over-possessive and do not let their boyfriend spend time with his friends, this not only creates problems between friends but can also harm the relationship. To know why do your boyfriend’s friends hate you and what can you do about it, read the following points.
Introspection is a must if you are facing this problem. In order to counter this, you need to understand the reason for their hatred. As you read on, you will find out some common mistakes that, at times, girlfriends commit which hampers their boyfriend’s friendship with his friends.
1. No Space:
One of the primary reasons of their hatred or indifference could be your ‘satellite’ nature. Girlfriends, who usually give less space to their boyfriends, always end up facing the anger and hatred of his friends. If you are doing this, then you must understand the peculiar nature of guys. They long for love and affection all their lives. But, their nature takes a great dip when it comes to their freedom. They behave very weirdly.
By not giving enough space to your boyfriend you always keep him occupied with yourself and hence it leaves him with no time for himself or his family or friends. The best way to counter this problem is by understanding your boyfriend. Try to understand the kind of life your boyfriend had before getting committed in relationship. How was his relationship with his friends? If he was someone who would start his day with quack of his friends and end it also in the same fashion, then his friends are bound to think negative about you. They may accuse you of changing him and many other things. If he was someone who had normal friendship with the usual “hi, hello,” then the problem is with his friends. They fail to realise that their friend also needs to be with the one he loves and spend time with them.
In this case, you can choose to have a word with them and make them understand the things clearly. By doing this, you will be ruling out the possibility of any unwanted and unnecessary rift between you and your boyfriend or your boyfriend and his friends or his friends and you.
2. Intruding His Friendship:
It has been noted that mostly guys get mad at their friend’s girlfriend when she intrudes their friendship. They want their friendship to stay as it was before he got hooked up with anyone. If you are intruding your boyfriend’s friendship by influencing his thoughts or his actions towards his friends, then understand that this is something that really annoys guys and his friends.
The best way to handle this situation is by having a very honest approach. If you are doing it purposely then stop doing it, and if you have been doing it unintentionally, then you can have a talk about it with your boyfriend. Solutions to big problems come only when there is a free flow of communication. Tell your boyfriend about this and patiently work towards it.
This should be on top of the list because of its intensity. Backbiting doesn’t really go down well with anyone. Guys, especially have a special dislike towards this. Mostly guys are not into gossiping and they do get put off when girls do that. Backbiting or saying some things or passing a rude comment at his friends are some of the things that friends despise the most.
In order to get out of it, it is best that you are very choosy of your words. Even if you have some negative points to say about your boyfriend’s friends, be very careful with your words. By frivolously using your words, you can hurt not only your boyfriend’s sentiments but also his friends’ sentiments.
4. Not Letting Him be Himself:
Guys are very good at detecting differences. If they see their friend’s attitude change even by an inch, they start to hate you. It is very common for people to ridicule a change without understanding if the change was intended for good or bad. If your boyfriend was someone who used to waste his time with his friends by not studying or working and your inclusion in his life has made him more focused and study oriented, then his friends might blame you for the change thinking that you have influenced his life.
On the other hand, if your boyfriend balances his life with friends and his studies at the same time and is not able to give time to his friends because of you then you really need to do some serious thinking. You might be the bone of contention between him and his friends. The way to handle this situation is by accepting your mistake and talking with you guy so that you both can find a solution and the relationship he shares with you and his friends is not hampered.
5. Putting Unnecessary Restrictions:
If you are the kind of girlfriend, who puts restrictions on her boyfriend, where he is not allowed to meet or spend time with his friends, then that could be a possible reason for his friends to despise you. You might be doing it with a good intention to keep him away from bad company, in such case you should talk openly with your boyfriend and make him understand the reason for your action.
Suppose his friends are into drug addiction or they simply waste your boyfriend’s time, then your decision is a right one and it is better for him and relationship.