What do kids need the most? Yes, you guessed right, love. You cannot think of showing love to your kids as a chore that can be delegated to some other day or some other person. If you want to nurture responsible, self-confident, secure and loving human beings, you will need to show them all the love you can. Kids who grow up within the warmth of parental love understand the essential qualities of kindness, compassion, empathy and care. They understand love and forgiveness and end up being assets for their countries and for the whole world. These kids make better parents, spouses, citizens and human beings. The question that arises is how you make your kids feel loved without spoiling them? This is a huge challenge for parents as they definitely don’t want to spoil their children with too much love and at the same time they do not want their kids to feel deprived of their attention or love in any way. We have compiled a list of 10 ways to make your kids feel loved, for you.
1. Encourage expression of feelings and emotions
To show your children true and unconditional love you will need to encourage them to freely express their feelings and emotions. This is the first and foremost step towards gaining their trust and letting them realize that they have freedom of expression because their parents care so much about them. If your kids are expressing themselves positively you tend to take it in a good way however, negative expression of emotions is discouraged. You need to understand that a kid needs to feel secure enough that he is able to express both negative as well as positive emotions in front of his parents. Once you are able to establish this basic trust with them, they will realize that they are loved deeply by mom and dad.
2. Begin the day with a smile
Do you know that kids crave to see their parents smile all the time? A kid has simple needs, they don’t want a huge house or a million dollar car, they just want to feel secure and happy and if they see their parents smiling, it is a wonderful gift for them. The one thing that you can do every day is, begin the day with a lovely smile. It will be great for your mood also. When you wake your kids up, remember to smile at them and you will see how happy it makes them. Try and let the kids know that they are a reason for your happiness and smile a lot in their presence.
3. Hug them, a lot
This is the simplest and most therapeutic way to show your kids how much you love them. Like I said, a kid’s happiness is not associated with materialistic things. They just want to feel happy and secure. If you show them that you love them in a physical way, they will simply love it. They will also learn to associate hugs with love and each time you hug them they will realize that you are making an effort to show them how much you love them. Even if you are not a ‘hugs’ person, do it for your kids. They deserve to bring about a few changes in your lives, don’t they?
4. Listen intently
You know that when your child talks, you end up ignoring half the things that they tell you. You just label what they say as ‘kids talk’ and halfheartedly listen to their stories. How about this, let’s start with small and simple steps. Every day, take out one hour where you will sit down with your kids and just listen intently to whatever it is that they have to tell you. Do this daily, till you develop a habit of listening to them. In a few days you will realize the difference this exercise makes to your attitude towards your kids as well as their attitude towards you. It’s the simple things that we do that make a big difference. When you consciously pay attention to what you kids are saying you are developing a healthy attitude within them. They will feel respected and loved at the same time.
5. Get them involved
Kids are always being instructed as to what they should eat, drink or wear. Don’t you think this must get very tiring for the kid? To develop a healthy relationship with your kids you need to let them know that their opinion matters. This can be done in a simple way, include them in the decisions that you take as a family. If you are moving houses, ask them what room they would like to have. Before cooking meals, ask them what they would like to eat. If you include them in small decisions they will feel that their opinion matters and they will develop a healthy self-image and feel loved. You don’t have do agree with everything they have to say however, asking for their opinion will never harm. Maybe they even come up with great ideas.
6. Do little things out of love
As a parent you know how much the little things matter. Do these little things out of love for your kids. Buy their favorite chocolate. Take them out for ice cream. Place an ‘I love you’ note on their pillow. Fix them a wonderful meal. Kiss them often. These little things go a long way to show your kids how much they a loved and cared for.
7. Stick to your word
If you have promised your child something, you must keep your promise. A promise kept will teach your kid the value of trust. If you are doubtful whether you will be able to keep a promise don’t make it. It’s just a simple rule. Keep the promises you make and don’t make promises you can’t keep. If you do end up breaking up a promise, explain why. Don’t let them hanging in there making it difficult for them to trust you in future.
8. Take an interest in what you child loves
Make sure to take an honest interest in your kids’ lives. You must make an effort to find out what they love and don’t love too much. If they like for you to drop them to school every day, do it. If they want daddy to come and see their football games, make sure daddy goes. These little things will go a long way in establishing a loving and trusting relationship with your kid.
9. Have a scheduled one on one time with your kids
Make sure that once in two days (or whatever frequency suits you), you sit down and have a one on one session with your kids. Make it interesting by telling them that they can share their stories and feeling with you at this time. Do away with any distraction and just be with your kids wholly. This will make them realize how much they matter to you. You and your spouse can take turns to spend this time with the kids.
10. Say the magic words and say them often
A child has simple needs and they also understand simple messages. If you say “I love you” to them often it will be ingrained in their minds. Let them know what they mean to you and how much you love them. Tell them this often so that they understand that the basis of you anger and strictness sometimes, is love.