Relationships are built on mutual trust and understanding. Faith and fidelity serve as the cornerstones in your association with your partner. So, if you cheat on your partner, naturally the very foundation on which your relationship stands gets visibly shaken, and once it happens, it becomes very difficult to restore the status quo ante in the union. Infidelity is the biggest cause of breakup between couples or partners, both married and unmarried.
Infidelity or betrayal is a grave issue that is taken very seriously by almost all couples. So, if you’ve been disloyal towards your spouse or partner and the same is established or proven circumstantially, then you risk losing your associate, maybe for good. But if you really love your other half and do not want to lose him or her at any cost, then there’s always room for repairing or fixing ‘the loose ends’ in your affair.
The path to salvaging the eroded trust is certainly not going to be smooth but rather an uphill and steep one. The first step to mending a relationship (that has been scarred by an act of faithlessness) is to seek apology. Since that’s the least your partner expects of you, ask for forgiveness as instantly as you can. Sometimes, the level of distrust might be so profound that expressing a mere apology just might not suffice but if you don’t admit your guilt in the first place, you simply don’t stand a chance.
Thereafter, own up to your faults and strictly refrain from putting your partner in the dock. Trying to shift the onus of ‘infidelity or cheating’ to your associate will only aggravate matters. Whatever progress you might have made in preparing the groundwork for mending the blemished association, will be rendered futile if you resort to blaming your partner.
You should also be mentally prepared to accept and live with the consequences or the aftermath of a relationship that has been singed by your sly dalliance(s) or extramarital flings. For instance, your partner will not be on talking terms with you and may not even sleep in the same room with you, let alone sleep in the same bed.
Your partner may not even look at you with a straight face and will give you enough signals that you’re still a long way from winning back his or her trust. Ultimately, you’ll have to get down to finding ways for damage control and work out strategies for regaining your partner’s faith and confidence in you. You’ll have to give it your best shot as you might never get another chance to fix your relationship. You can get started with your damage control exercise by apprising yourself with the Ways to Fix a Relationship after One Partner Has Cheated.
1. First Decide if You’re Willing to Put Everything behind and Start Afresh
Irrespective of whoever cheats, the very act of confession can throw both of your lives into complete disarray. When you or your partner admits to infidelity, there is bound to be moments when you end up squabbling or quarreling and have heated arguments. Such a phase might last for quite a long time, maybe for months.
Instead of getting torn apart by the singeing mistrust, you should sit down together and discuss whether your bond with your partner is still strong enough to give it another chance. If you decide in favor of giving it another shot, then both of you’ll have to put the entire incident at your back and outgrow it. Although it is always easier said than done and one is unlikely to forget everything in a hurry but there is no other alternative either.
2. Be All Ears When Your Associate Enumerate the Reasons for Cheating
If you’re at the receiving end i.e. your partner has cheated on you, then you’ll need to hold your composure and keep your cool while he or she narrates the reasons for his or her act(s) of unfaithfulness. Sitting through the whole process can be undoubtedly very unnerving and unsettling but listening patiently to your partner’s viewpoints is crucial if you want to avoid confronting a similar situation in the near or far future.
3. Ask for forgiveness with all Sincerity if you’re the One Who has Strayed
If your partner has accused you of infidelity, then it goes without saying that you’ll have to sincerely plead for forgiveness. In case if you have been found guilty with several counts of cheating, then a mere apology might not be enough. You’ll have to express that you’re really sorry through your actions and in your dealings with your partner.
4. Stop Wallowing in Self-Pity and Gloating on the Past
What has been done cannot be undone. So, there would be no point in pitying or reproaching yourself for having cheated on your partner as doing so will not change the past. Try to focus on ways to assuage the guilt and console your grieving partner and if it is your partner who has let you down, then you need to tone down your antagonism towards him or her and be a little more accommodative and flexible.
5. The Partner Who Deceived Has to be Forthcoming
If your betrayal has resulted in a breach of trust with your associate then the responsibility of taking the initiative to lay threadbare the details that led to your cheating, lies with you. If you try to make up with your partner by concealing vital information regarding your excesses, you’ll never be able to regain the trust or confidence that your partner had once reposed in you.
6. Brainstorm for Methods to Buttress the Relationship
Constantly having to think up of ways to placate your partner and make amends for your transgressions can lead to the development of an environment where both of you feel suffocating. You might have the feeling that you’re more sinned against than sinning. Both you and your partner would be yearning to take a break from the drudgery of constantly trying to ‘fill the gaps’ in the relationship.
Why not do something together as a couple that you’ve never done before? Maybe you can test your mettle in adventure sports like paragliding, skydiving or bungee jumping that can give you both an adrenaline rush.
7. Future Discussions Should be Free of Accusations
Do not go back to accusing your partner (if he or she’s the one who has cheated on you) after everything has already been discussed and both of you have taken a stand to do everything possible to give your sagging affair a fresh lease of life. Let bygones be bygones.
8. You Can Always Give Your Relationship another Chance if You Really Love Each Other
If you’re willing to pardon your partner for his or her deceitful and mistrusting ways and seriously considering giving him or her a second chance then do so from the bottom of your heart.
9. Trust Your Partner But Not Blindly
You’d be foolhardy to trust your partner blindly after he or she has acknowledged her wrongdoing and has given his or her word on never to cheat again in the future. Just like a burnt child dreads the fire once he has burnt his fingers, you should be cautious and be on your guard when your partner goes overboard with promises.
10. Take Your Relationship to the Next Level
Sometimes, plain and humdrum techniques of attempting to fix a souring relationship may just not be enough. You might have to think of innovative ways to bring the vigor back in your relationship. In other words, you’d need to think out of the box. How about going on a second honeymoon by planning a trip to an exotic locale? A second honeymoon will offer the perfect foil for rekindling your romance.
11. Damage Control Will Need More Than Just Love
Love might be just one of the numerous elements that may help you and your partner coming close to each other once again. So, you might need more than just love to prevent a relationship from falling apart. You’ll need to be compassionate and considerate.