Just as you have your likes and dislikes, you’re most likely to have a shortlist of people whom you like to deal with and whom you don’t. Everybody does in fact. And just as you have people in your life who you detest, there’ll inevitably be people who don’t like you either.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with that and it’s perfectly normal on your part not to find everybody you come across in your life, to your liking. And it is equally possible that you won’t be liked by one and all because you can’t be all things to all men. Even Jesus Christ had his foes. As long as your interests are not harmed in anyway by people you don’t like, you seem to get on with your day to day life without a worry in the world.
The hard part comes when you have to work alongside such individuals or deal with them knowing fully well that you can’t even stand them for a minute. And they seem to be fully aware that you don’t like them and therefore often go out of the way to demonstrate the fact that they despise you as well. They’ll spare no efforts to put a spanner in your works and do their best to make you feel miserable and wretched as long as you’re with them.
But will it help ease matters to pay them back in the same coin? An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth has never helped anybody and will probably not work in your case either. Since there’ll always be people in your life whom you don’t like, why unnecessarily pollute your mind by expressing your contempt?
You can always get along by just being nice to them and it’d not take an enormous effort on your part to put on your best foot forward when dealing with such people. Who knows they might even end up becoming your best buddies! Fortunately for you, there are always ways to be nice to someone you don’t like.
You can always adopt a few or most of these ways that’ll help you to work your way around people you don’t get on well with.
1. Imbibe a Positive Approach
Much of your disgust and abhorrence stems from the fact that you take a negative approach right from the moment you come face to face with such people. From the day you met them for the first time, you had an off-putting impression about them and harboured prejudices that became more entrenched every time you regrouped.
And your negative outlook is most likely to be reflected in your behaviour and mannerisms. You’ll not feel confident about saying something that you think should be conveyed or offer your suggestions on any issue. In order to not offend their feelings, you might hold yourself from interacting with them in a free and relaxed manner. And your feelings and inhibitions are most likely to be reciprocated.
You can always take the first step that’ll lead to a mitigation of the feelings of animosity and an air of distrust and suspicion that prevails whenever you meet such people by speaking politely. You can assume a humble approach and deal more flexibly that’ll result in turning these people around.
2. Don’t be Over Conscious of Their Presence
You tend to become more guarded and conscious whenever you’re in the presence of people you don’t seem to prefer. And your propensity or tendency to behave erratically whenever you’re in their company might lead to your overreacting and keep you from thinking in a straight manner. Maintaining such a stance might give your detractors the upper hand and the handle to treat you more shabbily than you do.
To prevent yourself from becoming over conscious and getting carried away, you should simply carry on with your work as if they were not around. Do not give them more attention than they desire and just deal with them as warmly and respectively as you’d with people with whom you have good relations.
3. Catch Them Off Guard More Often
It’d not cost the earth to treat people on your hate list to a sumptuous lunch or dinner once in a while. Or at the most you can surprise them with a gift hamper on their birthdays or visit them personally when they’re down with hay fever or malaria and offer them a bouquet of flowers. Or, you can always send across a get well card. Random or little acts of generosities can always go a long way in thawing down even the most bitterest of people.
Remember that these people are angry and resentful towards you not because they’ve marked you out to be the exclusive recipient of their ire nor because it is in their nature to behave in that manner. They take such a stance or posture due to unpleasant experiences they might have had in the past with individuals who were similar to you in nature and disposition.
Their rage and indignation is a sort of impregnable wall they build around themselves that blocks them off from everybody and anybody they feel repulsed by and not just you. Since that defensive wall is ‘creative’, you can always bring it down not by breaching it but by your acts of kindness.
4. Be Courteous
It does not take a great exertion on your part to show that you’re a well mannered person. You can always greet people with whom you’re not on good terms by simply saying ‘Hello’ or ‘Good Morning’ when you meet them irrespective of whether they greet you back in return or not.
And after you’ve broken the ice, you can take the process forward by sitting down with them and share a joke or two. Don’t forget to let out a guffaw when they share a funny anecdote with you. In case, they scorn or berate you for sitting near or close to them, don’t shout back at them. If their demeanour gets unbearable just back off and move away from them.
If all your sincere attempts to mend the fences result in failure don’t get disheartened just let it pass. At least you’ll have the satisfaction of having given your best shot.