There’s hardly any woman in this whole wide world that does not cherish the moments when she becomes a mother. Motherhood also brings in its wake heavy responsibilities on a woman. However, if the mother happens to be a working mom, then her responsibilities increases manifold.
Since living costs have risen staggeringly in the past two decades, most families are at their wits’ end in making the end meet. On top of that, the arrival of a new member in a family quadruples the expenses. Therefore, most women are compelled to take up a job for supplementing to the family income. These days, a majority of the young mothers in most countries of the world happen to be working part-time or full-time either from offices or from their homes.
Most of these working mothers have taken up a job not because they want to further their career prospects but because they want to provide the best for their children. Many women are obliged to take up employment as the income of their spouses is not enough to support the family, especially if there are kids. However, working mothers often have to face a lot of flak from others and often the butt of ridicule.
They often have to put up with insensitive remarks from people who have grave doubts about their parenting abilities. In this regard, working moms find themselves in the same boat with mothers who remain at home to take care of their children and manage the household affairs. Irrespective of whether one is an employer or a neighbor or a stay-at-home mother one should think twice before mouthing inanities and making critical comments to working mothers.
Passing comments to working moms without forethought causes unnecessary heartburn and puts you in a bad light. You might never be aware of the circumstances that induce a mother to take up employment even though she has a toddler or a kid at home to be taken care of. Of the Things Never to Say to Working Moms, following are the ones that you must refrain from uttering under all circumstances.
1. Do You Really Need to Work? You Could Have Stayed Back at Home
This is one of the most intrusive remarks that you can make. However, it doesn’t serve any purpose. On the other hand, it has an adverse impact on the working mom as the remark is clearly tinged with negativity. Let’s for the sake of the argument assume that the mother really needs to work because she has to foot the mortgage bills and pay for the groceries.
She needs the job for the simple reason that she wants to contribute monetarily for sundry other family or household expenses. It’s as simple as that. Next thing you might want to know is the salary of her husband. So, where does all this lead up to? It could also be that you really don’t need to work.
The questioner safely assumes that you’re working for a financial reason which of course is true to an extent. You’re an educated and professionally qualified woman. So there’s no earthy reason as to why you should not harness your talent and skills.
The traditional roles played by women have changed a lot and are still changing and so is stereotyped thinking about women. When your kids grow up and step into the big bad world to find their footing, you certainly wouldn’t to find yourself sitting at home not doing anything. So you want to keep working so that you remain employable as you age. You also take pride in the fact that you’re contributing equally with your spouse in saving money.
2. Why have children in the first place if they’re raised up by nannies?
This caustic remark hints at your becoming a mother just for the heck of it without giving it much consideration. And nobody knows better than you nothing could be further from the truth. Most people easily presume that you went into motherhood without proper planning.
Now that you’re having difficulty in finding the wherewithal for your baby’s basic needs, you have taken to working. Or, it could be that you’re simply fed up of fending for your kid and want to get away from it all. Whatever the reason of your working, it certainly doesn’t imply that you don’t care about your child or children.
On the contrary, the opposing generalization seems to be more plausible. You’ve taken up a job to take better care of your child. You’re working because you need to find a near perfect balance between your roles of being a mother and a spouse. You could really find yourself between the horns of a dilemma when you need to take a decision whether to work or not after you become a mother. So if somebody criticizes you for working when you should be taking care of your kid back at home, don’t balk away from giving a fitting reply.
3. Don’t you feel guilty about staying away from your kids? Don’t your kids miss you or don’t you miss them?
There’s nobody else who is more concerned about the wellbeing of your kids than you. The welfare of your children is always uppermost in your minds. For the entire period that you’re in office, you constantly keep thinking about your kids back at home.
Unfortunately for you, people who make such comments do not realise why you need to work. They lack the foresight to comprehend that children can more often than not grow up in a better way both mentally and physically if they get to spend time with other children or nannies. People passing such bitter remarks often fail to see that the final responsibility or accountability for taking care of her children rests with the working mother. As a working mom, you see to it that you more than make up for the precious hours that you stay away from your kids by spending sufficient quality time with them.
4. You’re fortunate enough to work from the comfort of your home. In that case, do you really need a babysitter?
This scathing remark is intended to mean that working mothers can comfortably handle the responsibilities of working from home and take care of their children simultaneously. However, only you know that it’s not as easy as it sounds. If you work as a freelancer from home, you know that you simply can’t be at your productive best if you have to rush to your kid every time to change nappies or feed him or her.
Most people tend to comfortably presuppose that your work-from-home assignments tend to be child’s play and that you’re available for taking care of your children. However, these days most employers want to make sure that you’ve engaged a babysitter before assigning you work from home projects. Every time someone makes the above comment to you, invite him or her to your place to get a hang of the real scenario.
5. Aren’t your children going to the dogs now that you’ve taken up work?
People who’re are blunt enough to make such insensible and harsh remarks will perhaps never be able to comprehend the reasons for your having taken up employment. Nor will be they willing to listen to you as to why you’re working. People who are conservative in their thinking cannot simply imagine fathers, nannies or grandparents nursing children while their mothers are away at work. So, the next time you hear a remark like the one above just tell yourself that person comes from a background diametrically opposite to yours and has grown up with values different from yours.