Having a baby seems like the perfect idea! It ensures the next stage for your relationship. The most beautiful thing that could happen to a relationship is having a baby. This lively little being brings about happiness to all concerned. But it is a major decision, a decision that would bring about a lot of changes in your life. You might feel you are ready but you need to be really sure if you are ready for this next step. This decision not only involves you but also the new being that is going to arrive in this world. Before having a baby or deciding to have one it is always good to consider a few things and then maybe go for it.
1. Are You in a Happy Relation?
A unhappy relation would never get rosy with the inclusion of a baby. People generally believe that having a baby would resolve all the conflicts that exist between the couple. It is not true. In fact, getting a baby into a strained relationship would in fact mean inflicting a lot of pain on it. You would give a very unhealthy atmosphere where the baby would suffer. Your fights would never end and ending your relationship post the marriage would mean further sufferings and pain to the baby. Any kind of distance in the relationship or strain would affect the baby. Remember to have sorted all issues between the two of you before even considering a baby. A baby is not the solution to your problems.
2. Are You Prepared for Lifestyle Changes?
Having a baby means a 360 degree change in your existing routine and lifestyle. In fact there may be times when you would have to forego your sleep, routine work, freedom just so that your baby is comfortable. You may pose many restrictions on your eating and other habits once you have a baby. You cannot watch TV at the volume you used to because your baby needs to sleep. You baby is hungry at midnight; you need to wake up and feed him/her. These are changes that one should foresee and be ready to adjust to. The 8 pm meeting your friends, the 10 pm important show and the midnight reading would all take a backseat. You would not get me-time you always look forward to. In fact there might be times when you are tired yet you have to be on your foot for the baby. A baby generally is very demanding and you can’t afford to be anything but alert.
3. Need to Deal it with Maturity
A baby is a life changing decision as you already are aware of. With a baby arriving in your life, you would need to deal with life in a little mature way. Are you prepared for the add on responsibility? With this little bundle of joy, you would have to be less selfish and more thoughtful. There might be a lot of sacrifices you may have to deal with on the path of being a parent. So, think over it completely before getting a baby into this world.
4. Are You Together in This?
It is possible that the baby demands more than you can actually give. So are you both as parents to the baby ready to give in your energy and share the duties equally. The mother needs rest and if at that time the father is a bit indulgent and gets around performing the needful duties it becomes easier to handle the baby. So at the time of having a baby make sure you both agree to be together whenever the need arises.
5. Is This Your Second Child?
Children demand attention all the while. A new born baby demands a bit more attention than a grown up child but, in the process of handling your new born you cannot afford to neglect your other child. Would you be able to handle both children together? Would you be able to handle the jealousy factor that might emerge from the birth of the other kid? If you have a year old baby and are thinking of another baby, are you sure you can handle two small babies at the same time? Would you be able to handle the demands of a toddler and a new born together? Think of all this before plunging into getting another baby into this world.
6. Less Time for Each Other
With the baby actively involved in your day to day life it would become difficult for you two to spend some quality time with each other. In fact your lives would be completely driven by the needs of your baby. In such circumstances you might lose out on your love. It is very necessary to keep guarded and take some time out for each other so that your marriage survives from being hit.
7. No Physical Relations
Once you have a baby, your intimacy levels would take a dip. There won’t be any physical relations possible for quite a while. Are you ready to forego these desires for the time period that is required? You would need to deal with this situation patiently and in the utmost understanding manner.
8. Monetary Situation
As a parent with one more mouth to feed you need to consider your monetary situation before entering into parenthood. Are you ready monetarily to have a baby at this moment? If and only if the answer is yes, you should go ahead with the idea. You would need money for the delivery, for the medicines for your baby, a healthy and comfortable life for your baby etc. So, money is an important part of the thought process behind considering having a baby.
Make sure you are confident enough before starting your own family. Only when you are know for sure you can should you take the step towards having a baby. Else it would only ruin three lives miserably. You need three basic virtues without which you should not consider a baby. They are understanding, patience and love.