Don’t you just love the excitement of dating someone new! The honeymoon period, as many call it, is just a great time where it’s just about having fun and experiencing the exhilaration of spending time with that someone. You are just too thrilled about the relationship to ask any sort of meaningful questions; but then again, who cares, right?
The answer is- you do! The problem is that when we women start spending considerable time in a relationship, we start to feel a little nervous and anxious as to where the relationship is going, what he thinks about the relationship, what his plans are and whether you are in it. Before you commit yourself to something serious, you have to understand to some questions like these; questions that you daren’t ask in the initial periods in the fear of scaring him off. But, they must certainly be asked when you are some way down the road or when you start finding yourself bursting with such questions, wondering what his responses will be. It is better to clear the air before you take the plunge because erring on the side of caution is always better than having to take care of a broken heart. Words to the wise ladies – do not, I repeat, do not make it an interrogation. It is imperative that you pick your moments and that the questions you ask are in sync with the mood. Men are generally put off when you start demanding answers to questions they themselves might not even have considered. Also, remember that the body language is just as, and maybe more, important as the answer that he shells out. So ladies, if you have been with a guy long enough, then it is time you asked these questions and pronto!
1. What Are Your Priorities?
It is important to get this question checked off as quickly as possible. You may not even have to ask the question, as actions speak louder than words; how he describes your relationship to others; does he make you wait for long before he shows up for somewhere. How he prioritize you will be key to any future for the relationship. It is not imperative to be his number one priority, as, more often than not, kids- if he has any- will be topping this list. But, you should be somewhere very close to the top in his list if he is serious about you and the relationship. Ask this question, if you have to; but if you pay attention to his action, you might be able to hear well.
2. Are You Still in Touch With Your Ex?
Now, he may say there is nothing between them anymore, but if he still has contact with his ex on a regular basis, then it is time for you to step aside or the very least, be worried about. The old flame has a habit of not dying out completely and if he still has constant contact with his ex, then chances that they still have feelings for each other is high; you can’t blame him if he does, but you certainly can save yourself from heartache. You definitely do not want to get into such a muddle, where the chances are high that they might rekindle that flame and you will end up getting burnt in the process.
3. Do You Want a Long Term Relationship?
We girls are, normally, always looking for our knights in shining armor; but finding one is a hard challenge that keeps on determinedly failing us. Getting to know if he is in for the long haul is important before you start dreaming of a life together. He may have shown great care and respect, but may not be inclined towards a long term relationship or the possibility of marriage one day. Even if he wants to be in a long term relationship with you, he may feel strongly against the idea of getting married one day. If you want this, then clarify this before you start building dreams; you can escape from the harsh sting of disappointment that arises from false expectations.
4. Do You Want Children, If so How Many?
So, you have ticked off the questions about marriage. Well, the next question you could follow up with is this. If you want children, then ensure that your partner does too. He may want to spend the rest of his life with you, but he may not be as enthusiastic about having and raising children. If he doesn’t, then try and get to the bottom- why? Maybe, you could change his opinion. If he does, then discuss about the number of kids that you guys would like to have. Even if you both are highly compatible together on all other issues and disagree completely only on this one, it could still end up spoiling your relationship. So, it’s important to get this question out of the way too before you take the relationship seriously.
5. Where Do You See Us in The Next Five Years?
When you have the notion of being in a long term relationship, it is important to know the goals and the intentions of the guy for his as well as your own life. Do you figure in his life for the foreseeable future? What does he envisage the future to hold for both of you? What and where does he think his personal and professional life will be in the five years time? These need be answered if you are to have a successful relationship with him. Understanding his goals on both the personal as well as professional front is a very good idea; it not only gives you an insight into his dreams and ambitions but also will help you merge yours with his; you will also be able to discern how serious he is about you and the relationship.
As already mentioned, the tone and timing of these questions are important; cherry pick the moments- never ask them too early in a relationship.