If you’re keen on finding out more about a man or woman you fancy then the best way to do so would be to go on a date with that person. Although both men and women have their specific reasons for dating, the common ones seem to be intimacy, recreation, camaraderie, and socialization. There are two basic objectives behind going out on a date with someone.
Firstly, you want to revel in the company of that person and have unadulterated entertainment. Secondly, and more importantly, dating gives you the opportunity to study the individual from close quarters. So, effective communication amidst the two persons dating each other paves the foundation for a lasting relationship. Miscommunication, on the other hand, can prevent the liaison from graduating beyond the first date.
A relationship cannot be sustained purely on the basis of physical attraction or intimacy. You’d need to make sure whether the other person you’re dating is the one you want to settle down with in the long run. And how’d you go about exploring and probing your prospective boyfriend or girlfriend on your first few dates?
It’ll call for a lot of sensitivity and presence of mind on your part in choosing the topics to discuss about as you’d naturally want to avoid controversy. However, the conversational topics should be interesting and engrossing enough to keep monotony and vulgarity at bay. You’d also want to send the right vibes about yourself by appearing to be intelligent, empathetic and humorous. You’ll feel like shooting off one question after another to your new date and in your desperation you might end up asking unsavory questions. So, acquaint yourself with the Questions to Avoid on a First Date.
1. Questions about Past Relationships
What happened with your last relationship? What made you break-up with your last ex or your former exes? Do you a problem maintaining a steady affair? (This one might be a little too strong). Do you feel that you’re misunderstood? Do you have an attitude or behavioral problem?
It’s natural on your part to ask about your date’s past relationships and how he or she managed to cope with them. You’d be too eager to establish for once and for all whether the person would be the right one to enter into a long term association with. However, common sense dictates that you should steer clear of asking questions pertaining to your date’s last or past affairs and exes.
2. Questions Regarding One’s Personal or Private Life
How often did you have sex with your ex? Was your ex promiscuous? Why haven’t you yet found a partner? Why did you leave your ex? Or, was it your ex who deserted you? How do you feel life is like without a boyfriend or girlfriend?
It’d be downright foolish to start asking questions about your date’s personal life on your very first outing. Maybe he or she is going through a bad patch in his or her life. Or your new date could be trying to put his or her life back on track after a divorce. Whatever personal issues or problems your prospective partner might be facing, it is best to refrain from asking questions about the same. You certainly wouldn’t want to put yourself in a poor light the first time you get a chance to get close to someone who has caught your fancy.
3. Questions That Can Be Off-Putting and Make One Feel Pessimistic
Don’t you think that the world has gone to the dogs? As almost everybody around us is jettisoning moral values, do you think you can trust anybody? How can I be sure that you won’t desert me like you did your ex? Do you think our affair will withstand the ravages of time?
Avoid sounding too bitter and cynical on your first date. You surely don’t want to give the impression that you’re a negative minded person which you of course may not be. Don’t let your potential partner have the impression that you have the tendency to get preoccupied with the negative traits in an individual rather than spot the virtues. Always keep a positive attitude and don’t be biased. The new person in your life might turn out to be more engaging than you may have envisaged.
4. Questions Regarding One’s Financial Status
What is your take home pay? What you do you spend your earnings on? Are you a spendthrift and compulsive shopper? Do you have the savings habit? Do you contribute to family expenses? Do you have assets in your name?
Just don’t talk about money or about anything remotely connected to pecuniary matters. Asking about your new date’s salary on the first day of your dating might put him or her off considerably. By the same token, it will seem very discourteous to talk or boast about your income and wealth. Bringing up the subject of money on your very first date can make your partner feel very uncomfortable.
5. Questions About Marriage or Kids
When are you planning to settle down? Are you going to get married any time soon? I’m sure you’re still not past the marriageable age? Would you prefer having a boy or girl kid?
These questions seem quite okay only if you happen to pose them when your relationship has entered a phase of stability. However asking these same questions on your very first meeting will be quite improper. If you’re a woman, naturally your urge to settle down and have children is more than a man. However, that urge does not justify your asking questions about marriage or kids on your first encounter.
6. Questions About Health
Don’t fritter away the precious moments on your first rendezvous by complaining or whining about the recent lithography or appendectomy you had. Don’t bore your new dating partner with long winding narrations about your mother’s kidney transplant or uncle’s cardiac surgery. Your date wants to have fun and entertainment for the time being he or she’s with you.
You certainly don’t want to spoil his or her mood by fretting about your health problems. Don’t let your personal problems come in the way of your casual conversations. Wear a smile on your face instead of a frown as a scowl can be as infectious as a smile.