Who doesn’t like the idea of love-life without quarrels or misunderstandings or arguing? So, isn’t it worrisome ‘How To Start A Conversation When Your Boyfriend Is Angry?’
This has been a permanent trouble for most of the women. There are two possibilities –
1) After a fight, if you go to him instantly, he’ll consider you to be dependent on him.
2) If you don’t give him any attention, he might think of you as an unconcerned person in the relationship. (In this case, he might move ahead to someone else.)
So what to do, when you see him angry? How can you restore the communication with him and pacify him. Carefully read the instructions given and see a fast recovery in your everlasting romance.
1. Men And Women Are Naturally Different
Your angry boyfriend, as a man, has a different temperament than you. There are many emotional differences between men and women. If you’re serious about your love-life and so genuinely seek to cool him down, you must know a few things regarding men behavior in love-life crisis.
2. Be Gentle
To appear helpless to women is always like a shame for men. Always remember; never ask “Are you still angry with me?” If you ask thus, he might treat it as a test to go ahead with the quarrel that you had. When you see him angry, you must remember that you need to speak with him in a gentle tone, e.g. tell him some comical incidence that happened at your work place. If he laughs, you can predict that your love-life is out of any further risk. If not, it too is natural, as some men take their own time to relax.
3. Let Him Feel Powerful
Avoid anything in this first conversation that revolves around either of you. You need to be neutral. As said before, you can start it with some funny occasion happened in the past. It makes him feel protected, though the fact might be something else. He then will become more placid.
4. Avoid Physical Contact
When you sense he is angry, avoid any physical contact to soothe him. Remember, being angry with you means he’s fighting with you mentally. So, he may not like any kind of physical closeness. No doubt you may touch his back or arm, but only after both of you are at ease after the fight. Avoiding physical intimacy immediately conveys him a message “Though I’m at ease, yet I don’t want to overrun your sphere”.
5. Let Him Speak Over The Issue
Just let him express all his anger. For this, let him speak over the issue, which might have made him angry with you. He may want to judge your thoughts on the issue. Even though you’ve opposed-feelings over it, don’t argue and don’t be disappointed. If you really love him, it will be significant to control yourself on the issue.
6. Approach Matters A Lot
Think seriously, ‘which method can be the most suitable to approach him?’ Then give yourself some time about your sincerity in the relationship or the depth of your love for him and your own requirements. When answer comes positive, go to him gently. Again, take some time to feel surely that his anger has receded. If he’s still angry, give yourself some more time, as you can’t do anything if he has negative feelings. His lingering anger can be an indication of his insensitivity to soothing.
Even though all the above suggestions don’t work and still you truly crave to repair your relationship, observe the given simpler and quick tips.
- To begin with, let him know how intensely you love him by telling him something related that had happened in the past.
- Let him know, to what extent his anger has disappointed you.
- Let him know, how significantly you need to discuss with him, after he’ll have controlled his rage.
- Request him to accompany you to one of the places that you both like. Just going there, might remind him about your happy time together there.
- Ask him for concentrating on self-command to control his anger. You may also request him to take some deep breaths that surely ward off all his mental stress.
- Take care that the negative feelings don’t take control of your mind, as they won’t allow you to resume any dialogue with him. Then, restart the discussion when you’re sure about your boyfriend’s composure.
- Don’t waste your quality time on the distressing memories of the issue. If you do so, you’ll lose mental enthusiasm to have an open chat with him.
- Watchfully display positive body language, i.e. sit face to face with him, don’t cross arms and keep face impartial. These are clear indications to him that you’re honest about the conversation.
- Remind him that he too needs to be unbiased and shouldn’t talk about one another’s faults.
- Remember – Be cool. Don’t hold him responsible.
- Convey him a message about your distressed feeling whenever he is angry with you.
- Don’t discuss what wrong has he done.
- Don’t use the words, “You constantly…” or “You never…”
- Don’t mention past issues. In its place, only discuss the present one.
- Listen to him peacefully and frankly.
- Don’t interrupt him. Don’t expect the same politeness from him. Don’t put down his thoughts.
- Try to get to a solution that can be satisfying to both of you.
- It’s not necessary that you both need to have same views on every matter, so if you can’t agree with the reason of his anger, move away from it.
- If you both can’t settle his anger yourselves, seek the help of an expert. On occasions, just discussing the issue with an impartial person can give you idea of some other angle too.