Leaving someone you’ve been in love with for a long time does not come easy. In fact, breaking up with your man (or woman) with whom you’ve been in a relationship for as long as you can remember, can be emotionally wrecking, and it might take years to come to terms with it.
Getting out of a long-term association is like disposing off a very old piece of furniture or piano that once occupied a pride of place not only in your home but in your heart as well. Sometimes, most of us are not able to correctly judge the person with whom you’re in a liaison and by the time you realise that your man or woman is not the same individual you once fell head over heels in love with, you’re so emotionally attached that you really find it difficult to call off the long standing rapport. But there are certain occasions when you should listen to your head rather than your heart and snapping a relationship with your girlfriend or boyfriend that is not working anymore surely has to be one.
We all try to enter into a relationship because we want to benefit from the association. In other words, a connection between two individuals is worthwhile as long as it is mutually beneficial. Just like a mathematical fraction is incomplete if the numerator or denominator is missing, the reciprocal aspect of a relationship falls by the wayside the moment it becomes onerous to carry on with the association.
There are reasons that hold people from getting out of a relationship even though it is suffocating their lives. For instance, when kids are involved, most women sacrifice their careers and even stay put in a relationship that has long stopped being reciprocal and mutual.
Women, more than men, are willing to stay in a relationship (that has lost its functionality and become meaningless for them) if it ensures the psychological and emotional well being of the children. But if kids do not come in the way, it is better to move on in life instead of remaining stuck in an association that has long lost its relevance and significance.
A majority of people find it hard (or rather make it hard for themselves) to jettison a teetering relationship that has somehow endured the ravages of time, because of insecurity. They’re apprehensive that they’ll not to be able to build and sustain a stable relationship all over again especially after what they’ve been through and that their lives will be thrown out of gear if they break off with their partner.
It is indeed hard to pull yourself out of a relationship at one go just by kissing your boyfriend or girlfriend goodbye for once and for all. But you can make the parting much easier for yourself if you can realise that you too have a life of your own. Suddenly, snapping ties will start to seem more justified if it dawns on that you had been just a passenger all along in the car of your own life and never got a chance to sit behind the steering wheel.
Telltale Signs Which Tell You That it’s Time to Move On
How’d you know that it’s time to move on and that you’ve had enough of it? The most rudimentary benefit that you’d expect from a relationship is happiness. It’s instinctive for you to seek equilibrium in an association but if you don’t feel connected (and neither is your partner), chances are that you won’t feel happy either. Secondly, you don’t feel like relating and sharing your thoughts with your man or woman.
Then again your partner is always looking for an opportunity to pick up faults and criticizing you for something or the other. He berates you and demeans you in front of your friends and relatives. You’re no longer keen on spending time together and prefer the company of other people. You constantly find yourself comparing or evaluating the person you love with others. If being in a relationship keeps you in high spirits, you often find yourself laughing out heartily. If you don’t laugh at his or her jokes anymore, then it’s a telltale sign that mutual attraction has fizzled out.
Think about the time when you’re madly in love with each other and you simply could not wait to see him or her. If you don’t have those feelings anymore, it’s time for you to break up.
Here are some techniques or strategies on How to Leave Someone You Still Love.
Focus on Bad or Negative Attributes
Since you’d need to keep yourself mentally strong when you break the news of your intending to break up, you’d have to concentrate exclusively on the negative traits that have been putting you off for so long. As you still have feelings for your partner, you may be tempted to reconsider your decision when he beseeches you to pardon him for his unruly and abusive behaviour. You’ll have to think hard about his or her drawbacks when he promises to give up drinking or substance abuse for the umpteenth time to keep yourself from getting carried away.
Let it Happen Abruptly
There’s no point in making the separation a stretched out affair, which might aggravate feelings of heartburn or ill will. After all, you wouldn’t want your partner to constantly have vengeful and rancorous thoughts about after you’ve walked out on him or her. Pull off the tourniquet quickly – it might be enormously painful in the instant when you do it but the pain will peter out gradually. It’s always a better option than making the severance or parting a grand affair by going on a one last romantic trip to an exotic locale and extending it out unnecessarily that leads to name-callings and fisticuffs.
Consult Your Friends
Count on your friends to bail you out rather than your family members. Relationships with parents, siblings and other relatives are always convoluted and they may not always be able to comprehend why you’re walking out on your spouse and see your point of view. Since your friends do not have any familial or personal interest in your breaking up, they’ll always give you the right advice. True friends will always give priority to your interests.