Love – It is a paradox in itself; even though everyone finds it impossible to aptly articulate it into words, everyone understands it, feels it. Everyone, generally, must have loved someone- even something- or the other at some point in their life. In the fast paced world that we live in, sometimes, it is hard to discern what love is and what is not; and sometimes it is even harder to understand if you are still ‘in love’!
Loving someone and being in love with someone are a part of the same river; even though they might part ways at times, they always will find ways to rejoin, as they flow into the same ocean of life. Now, as a couple over a lengthy period of time, you are, invariably, bound to lose the ‘spark’ that you must have had during the initial stages of your relationship. You might not be as excited about your relationship, about each other and will, most definitely, have problems. So, when you have lived with each other for a long enough time or been in a relationship for a long time, it is normal to get disillusioned with life- life with your, supposedly, better half and start questioning if you are still in love.
The problem is not a problem at all, if you deal with it as soon as you feel such; talk to your partner when you start harboring such doubts and maybe both of you can rejuvenate your stagnating relationship by going for a holiday, or even spending time apart from each other. The thing is, almost everyone, loses that spark; but what you have to understand is that love is more varied and more meaningful than just the spark. It is also about the understanding, the respect, the care, the warmth, and the affection- the attributes some term as the deeper love; it is inevitable that love evolves into this. But it is imperative to take solace in it too, as they are, and as they should be, the foundation upon which love and any relationship is built. So, the next time you start questioning your love or find your life an insipid lump, take a deep breath and go through the following points to help you find out if you are still in love.
1. Do You Have the Longing to Not Walk Away?
When most couples end their relationship, they are bitter or disappointed to the extent that they see no future with their partner; they feel that they can have a better life than the one they are leading. But, if you feel that you just can’t walk away even though you have considered the possibility, then you are probably still in love. The idea might have flowered at the back of your mind, but if it seems an out-of-the-world ridiculous idea that you just don’t want to go along with, then you are still in love.
2. Are You Comfortable With Each Other?
Many relationships fizzle out because the people involved are not comfortable being themselves around each other. This comfortability quotient is very important in any relationship. People normally find it hard to sustain being someone other than themselves for too long. So, if you are comfortable being who you are and also comfortable with who your partner is, then fret not, because you guys are still in love.
3. Do Challenges Bond You?
Now, when I say challenges, it does not just mean challenges in your relationship; but the challenges you face n your everyday life also play a crucial role here. Ask yourself whether you share these difficulties and consider how your partner responds to it. Do the challenges bring you two together or do they just increase the cracks in your relationship? If it is the former, then you obviously still have that special bond – the one that they call love.
4. Do You Like The Other for Who They Really Are?
As already mentioned, it is important to be comfortable to the point where you have no qualms about showcasing who you really are. But, it is just as important to gauge whether you like the other for who they really are- not for who you think they can be. Women, generally tend to feel that they can change their man from being who he is to someone better; that can be achieved, yes. But, sooner or later, there will be resentment for such a change and as such, it is always important to like the other person for who they really are. If you do so, then you are still in love and will, undoubtedly, remain so.
5. Do you Worry About Your Love?
There can be worry, only if there are feelings. Love and worry are interlinked together- unlike what many believe. Do you worry about him/her? Do you worry about what they might be doing? Do you worry about the fact that you guys seem to be drifting apart? If the answer to any of the above questions is a Yes, then you can be assured knowing that there is still love for the other person. You just have to talk to each other or act to alienate such worries.
6. What Are Your Thoughts About Her?
Consider the thoughts you have for your partner. What kind of thoughts are they? If they are more positive than negative, then you obviously are still in love. Even if most of the thoughts you harbor are negative, and yet there is this one tiny positive ray of light that is too hard to ignore, then it might be an indication of the love that still resides in you for your partner.
7. Are You Ready for Sacrifice?
If you are, then it is the greatest sign that you are still in love. The sacrifice of the last scoop of your favorite ice cream; because he loves it too; the sacrifice of your Sunday night football game, because she wants to watch a movie – it such tiny sacrifices that make a relationship work. Sacrifice, is the ultimate test of whether you are still in love with someone.