How to Handle a Mean Friend

You cannot always choose to have friends whom you can rely on and trust absolutely because getting reliable mates and buddies in your life is often a matter of luck. It is natural on your part to seek out individuals who’ve similar likes and dislikes as yours, and get acquainted with them. Although you want to build rapport with like-minded people with the best of intentions, you can never predict   convincingly whether your relationship with someone will have a positive impact on you or lead to inexplicable emotional distress.

Unfortunately, there are no established parameters by which you can establish well in advance how your association with someone will turn out to be so that you can decide whether to carry forward the relationship or forsake it. Nevertheless, in most circumstances, there’ll always be some telltale signs that’ll give you sufficient hints whether to keep on hanging out with someone or to call it quits.

Some acquaintances will try to ditch you right from the beginning while others will take their own sweet time in showing their true colours. Some friends will try to betray you quite flagrantly as they may have done with others in the past because it is in their nature to become turncoats. Some will let you down and stab you in the back because of the turmoil going on in their own lives or because of their negative traits.

You’ll come across many individuals in life who’ll be too egocentric and insensitive to bother finding out as to how you’re doing in life and whether you’d need help with anything. You’ll often get drawn into having a relationship with somebody who’ll be almost always be fretting and fuming about how people have taken him for a ride and unfairly treated him. He or she will more often than not, pessimistic about life in general.

These people tend to be depressive most of the time and generally tend to have a low opinion about others. They also have almost unlimited amounts of negative energy that can end up affecting you adversely when you’re with them. Being in the company of such individuals can be emotionally draining as they’ll be persistently cynical about everything and everybody, and will be angry or plain rude most of the time.

So how’d you prevent yourself from getting sucked into the impending vortex of gloom and hopelessness when you’re around such people? In other words, how’d you act in the presence of these people to not only prevent yourself from getting unfavourably affected but also help them to deal with their own negativity? Here are some tips on how to handle a mean friend.

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1. Do Not Be Judgemental

It can be really unsettling to deal with a friend or acquaintance that is radiating negative energy most of the times. You’ll need to be very perseverant and patient in dealing with that person and be compassionate towards him or her even when he or she’s being reproachful.

Although it is very unlikely that he’ll or she’ll think or act differently after you’ve suggested him or her to think and act in a positive manner, do not be too judgemental or discretionary in your approach.

Negativity in your approach and mannerisms can be contagious and it’ll show in your body language. Mean or obnoxious people have a tendency to mirror their negative attributes that can rub off adversely on you. Make it a point to have a positive mindset when you’re with a companion who cannot think straight.

2. Stay Calm and Composed

There are enough statistics and figures that overwhelmingly prove that people who’re mean and rude by nature have high stress levels and suffer from diseases and ailments chronically. Needless to say, it is their state of mind that has a bearing on their physical wellbeing.

You can well imagine their discomfiture and the distress they cause to themselves if they can create havoc in the lives of people who’re compelled to put up with them. You’ll have a catharsis and feel relieved when you envisage what their near and dear ones are putting up with and how they themselves are suffering from within. Harbouring such a feeling will help you to become less conscious of emotionally defending yourself and remain focussed on playing down negativity.

3. Question Your Stake in the Relationship

Although you may not be aware of it in a conscious manner, you always have a stake in maintaining a relationship with a mean friend. There must be some benefits that accrue to you from your connections or liaisons with mean-minded individuals. You’ll have to do some soul searching to find out what those benefits are.

Many people go out of the way to be in the company of such people so that they can go around telling one and all that these critically thinking people find them reliable. If you more often question yourself as to why you find yourself amongst such people, you’ll be able to take on a more flexible attitude when interacting with them even if you can’t make them think or act differently and bring about a change in their perspective towards reality.

4. Don’t Lose Faith or Confidence in Yourself

A friend or associate who’s mean with you can give a rude jolt to your confidence level and make you appear idiotic and trivial in front of others. Don’t allow such a person to ride roughshod over your feelings and let him overwhelm you with his pessimistic demeanour. Always keep in mind the fact that you’re your best judge and therefore never allow a negatively thinking person to shake your confidence in yourself.

5. Rope in Other Friends and Elders If You Need Help in Coping with a Mean Friend

Sometimes, you’ll not be in a position to make out as to how you’ll deal with a buddy who’s treating you unfairly or may simply run of ideas on how to cope with such a person. When you find yourself in such a sticky situation, you can always rely on your other companions for suggestions.

Although you don’t want to put yourself in a bad light by being overcritical about that person but you’re well within your rights to make your friends aware that you’re being mistreated. In case, the situation spirals out of control, you can turn to elder people or seniors for their advice and counsel. It does not matter how mean that friend of yours might be he or she certainly has no right to take you for granted.

6. Never Take Things Personally but Be Aware That Oftentimes it Can Get Personal

You must have learnt by experience and through conventional wisdom not to take it upon yourself or get emotionally involved when you have to deal with a mate who’s uncouth and uncivil. However, it is easier said than done.

You simply can’t brush off everything that person has to say about you or anybody else for that matter. If you care to introspect or analyse his opinions and viewpoints, it’ll dawn on you that he too sometimes can be right or may have a point. So, instead of viewing his thoughts with a prejudiced or a biased mind be receptive in your approach. You’ll be surprised that how a friend with a low mentality can be reasonable at times.

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