The problem that most men face is that they lack the tact of flirting. They walk over to a beautiful girl and they are stuck not knowing what to say or how to be charm offensive and make her laugh. What many men end up achieving is, coming off as needy, desperate and plain creepy – things that turn off women to the point where they might give you the look of disgust or contempt, and that is the worst thing that can ever happen to a man’s confidence.
Bars are prime locations to find single women; women who themselves are looking for a guy. But the problem is that women at bars are used to men hitting on them. And if it is a beautiful woman, well, she is as used to men hitting on her as a pot of honey is to being gorged by a hungry bear. My friend once told me, wisely, “The prettiest girls are the most neglected, as men are intimidated to even talk to her”. That is a complete hokum, to say the least. Ever walked into a bar and seen the prettiest girl sitting alone without someone trying to mack on her? Hell, No. Everyone wants the best, even if it is the superficial best.
So, women normally find themselves subject to innumerable guys walking up to them, trying to impress them with corny pickup lines and a show of their seductive machismo. If you are to be successful, you have to be different and innovative. Flirting is an art in itself. For some it comes easy and naturally, for others a lot of practice and deliberation is required. Flirting is an important piece of asset that a man must have in his armory when he decides to go over and talk to a woman; otherwise, there is a high chance that the conversation will end not with a bang but with a whimper.
So, here are some things that you could try out and they are bound to get you a date or, better still, get you laid.
The first step is to make eye contact with the woman you are interested. If men surround her already, it becomes a harder task. But, if she happens to scan the bar or let her eyes roam somewhere in the direction you are sitting, then try to make an eye contact. When you do so, make sure you have a smile on your face too and that the joy of the smile reaches your eye. Women are attracted to men who are fun to be around and this is the first sign- a smile. If the women you are interested has already eyed you a couple of times and smiled at you coyly, then there, that is your invitation for you to walk over to her. Do not dawdle and hesitate to go over to her, women like confidence and it is time for you to project it. But at the same time do not be abrupt. It is always a good idea to pepper her anticipation; but wait too long, and you will find her already talking to somebody else.
Now, that you know the woman is interested in you too, it is time to move in and talk to her. This is the most important step of all, as you can imagine. Your opening lines take centre stage here; as they say, first impression is the best impression. So, don’t go belching out a pick up line that you have already prepared; women are already smothered by such pickup lines and they will appreciate when you do not follow suit.
Start by complimenting her; make it specific. Never compliment her by using the normal clichés like – “You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met” or – the biggest cliché among clichés – “You have the prettiest eyes ever, they remind me of somebody”. Come one, you can definitely do better than that! Compliment her hair or her dress or her smile or a particular something that you noticed about her. This will feel more genuine and more flattering. Also, do not go overboard with your compliments. You do not- and it is crucial that you do not- want to sound desperate and needy; it is a big turn off.
“Hi, my name is Frank, and you have a very beautiful smile/ sexy hair”. Something that is short and to the point, like the above, will do you more good than a cheesy pickup line. Say something that is specific about her; something that has caught your eye; something that a lot of guys would not have told her already. This will make her feel special. When you pay attention to detail, it shows your level of interest.
So there, you have started talking to her. The secret to talking to women is listening. When you are a good listener, she will feel more comfortable with you, and that will definitely help your cause.
Make the conversation light and funny. Tease her gently. Women respond to humor and it is a great turn on. You don’t have to, and you really shouldn’t, crack jokes galore. Say something lively and interesting. Do not bore her with your views on who should run for senate or what the real purpose for living is. No one wants to hear that, and certainly not the woman who has spent hours in front of her mirror dressing to look nice for the night out in the bar. It’s all about loosening her up and letting her be who she really is.
Break the touch barrier by casually touching her; on her arms or on the small of her back. Do not keep on touching her to the point where it becomes uncomfortable and perverse.
3. End on a High:
So, there you are – both of you are getting along great, there is laughter and there is a good chemistry between you two. Now, ask her out on a proper date when things are flowing smoothly. Better still, lean into her and ask her if she wants to go back to your place for “coffee”. If you have played your cards right, she will be delighted to. There is a little pitfall here. Women, generally, do not want to be the one-night-stand that the guy proudly regales to his friends. As such, it might be prudent to ask her out on a proper date first. But, if the chemistry has been great and she has shown great interest in you, then do not hesitate to offer to “walk” her to her house.