In the first place, how to recognize that your boyfriend has selfish mind-set?
Answer:- If he always underestimates your time and sets his concerns before yours, he is self-centered and careless. It might seem to be difficult to be in a relationship with him. However, if you are sincere about your relationship and you are sure that he is too, your relationship must be given a chance. When you succeed, you’ll surely see some change in his behavior. That’s the sign of his sincere thinking about your love-life.
Follow the given tips to manage your selfish and careless boyfriend:
You Should Make Him Aware That His Behavior Hurts You
You must have a sincere conversation with him over the issue of your relationship. Put in plain words how hurt you feel by his behavior. There might be some sour incidence in the past that you can talk to him about. It might make him recognize how self-interested his conduct was and how much it upset you. If he always comes late or doesn’t call you up as much as he should, discuss it. He should be made aware about his expressions that always hurts you. Never ask him for explanation of his actions. Yet, with all the possible ways, try to make him aware of your feelings.
Relationship Needs Uniform Efforts
Harmony in relationship needs genuine efforts from both of you. He might have taken your relationship for-granted. He might be thinking that relationship doesn’t need efforts from both the sides. However, it really craves for the hard work. He should have his uniformly significant input to foster your relationship.
If he doesn’t appreciate anything and hurts you, you should make him realize it by your behavior. Be uncaring and unaware to him. Pretending that you hate him doesn’t mean you really do. Yet, to teach him a ‘lesson’, make him believe so. If he arrives late to the dates consistently, leave the place without any message for him. This will be an alarm in his mind, as you have never done so before. He too should understand how much he has hurt you by taking you for-granted. He will then start putting himself in your shoes, to appreciate your feelings. This might be a key to see a positive change in him.
Be Unavailable Occasionally
As you want to work on his selfishness, don’t be available all the time. If he cancels your scheduled lunch all of a sudden, don’t call him to reorganize it. But, without fail, send him an SMS about your hurt feelings. When he tries to rearrange it, don’t accept the invitation immediately. However, take a precaution that you should not stress the issue too long, as it might be an indication that you have no interest in him to any further extent.
Don’t Irritate Him
Even though you need to have self-esteem, never nag him. There is a danger that he would get irritated. Be brief in telling him about his mistakes when you sit at a table to sort out the issues between you and him.
Indicate For Responsiveness and Selflessness
Ask him sternly to be responsive and selfless. You need to raise a question over his in-sensitiveness to your feelings. If it starts to go your way, he will start being more sympathetic to you. Make him clear about your expectations. If you do so, you are not asking too much from him. The only reason for all that happened in the past was his in-sensitiveness and your over-kindness for his emotions. Boomerang of his own selfishness might work as a good weapon against his selfishness, yet not against him. After all, you love him very dearly.
Don’t Be Annoyed
You have to be very careful and patient for the results of your efforts. In the meantime, don’t be frustrated or annoyed. It never helps you. Rather, it deteriorates the situation. So, you need to be very calm.
Don’t Expect Change Overnight
Always remember, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day!’ every complicated task will take certain amount of time and needs patience. Don’t imagine quick results. Give him some time to understand his faults and then you will see change in him. Be unrelenting in your efforts that will make him more kind to you.
Compliment Works a Miracle
Whenever you see a small but an encouraging change in his behavior, praise him and make him realize that you appreciate it. Cheering words for his efforts will certainly be beneficial to your love-life. He will work more and more hard, if he knows that his efforts make you happier.
Don’t Go in Total Reclusion
When there are some indications of selfishness in your boyfriend, you too should build your own space and don’t allow him to invade it. This ‘own space’ may include going out to meet your old friends and relatives, which will help you to go away from the bothering thoughts about sourness in your relationship. This might be a good start for a new thought that can refresh your mind to make more efforts to sort out the things.
For a While, Be Detached
Even if you did all the possible efforts for the improvement in your relationship and yet you see no change in his behavior, be detached from him – at least for a while. This temporary disconnection in the relationship will give him a clear idea about your importance in his life. Thereafter, he may come to you to say sorry for his misbehavior that has hurt you in the past.
Detach From Him and Move On
After everything fails, this is the last thing that you have to do. Even though your brief aloofness too didn’t bear any fruit, except saying him goodbye, what else can be done from your end? Why waste your valuable time and energy with him when he can never realize your worth in his life? If he refuses to be responsive to your emotions, break the relationship and start looking for someone else who knows the value of your feelings. From then on, as you have done all the feasible efforts to rekindle your relationship, don’t feel sorry for the past.