Life becomes a major problem situation when you have to deal with a difficult and unkind girlfriend. When you first started dating this girl, probably she was not that unkind or mean. But, gradually over a period of time she has turned into one mean girl. Do you dump her? Well, that is the best and the safest advice that most people would offer you. Yes, it is safe because you really don’t have to deal with her anymore in that case. But, is that the one you wish to follow is a question that you have to set right. Once you are determined to continue, don’t hope for her to be on the right track. You have to learn to deal with her ways to get her back on the track. A mean girlfriend may or may not be unhealthy, completely depends on you. But, you certainly do need to deal with her in a certain way so that it does not harm your relations with others as well. Love may be blind not dumb. So, try to learn to tackle her ways and, subdue her a bit.
1. Ignore the Attitude
Your girlfriend is mean and, when she is angry or otherwise she is going to say a lot of bad things. Some may even be insulting to your ears. Some of it might be pointed towards your family and friends. Yes, you have to ignore it. This certainly does not mean that you are acknowledging what she is saying. You are just not listening to it. The insults are not going to your ears. You would feel at this point that this is a lowly advice and, would make her take you for granted. Well, ignoring is no means of silence or acknowledgement. It simply means you are allowing her to blabber on her own and you are doing your own work. At one point, she would realize that her mean words don’t hurt your ears and, you are in fact discouraging the entire act.
2. Be Calm & Cool
You may feel that this is easier said than done. Well, true! But, what would you achieve by losing your temper. You would tell her directly and clearly that you are getting affected by that behaviour. Chances are when she realizes that you are being affected, she would try to do it more often. This would lead to a chaos in your life. So, try to show that you are not being affected by her behaviour. Stay calm even when you are going to burst from inside. This would help deal with her meanness and bad attitude in many ways. She will try to fight with you or at least argue with you. These are cues, don’t fall prey to them. Just walk away the minute you feel an argument is going to happen and, discourage her completely.
3. Solution Lies in the Root
When you are dealing with meanness, you need to understand what exactly is causing it. There should be some reason for that meanness in the attitude. For that you should try and understand your girlfriend. Without understanding the issue, you could not probably get a solution. It is possible that she has some kind of insecurity possessing her or maybe she is frustrated with a lot of issues happening at the workplace or home or she has had a bad experience because she was good in the past hence the mean attitude. Once you spot on that one issue that is making her mean, you would probably be able to find a solution to the problem.
4. The Dependability Factor
Most times a mean attitude is an outcome of insecurity. You should actually make her realize that you are one of those dependable guys who won’t let her down for any reason. Once she is secure enough, you could probably deal with her attitude better. You need to make her secure so that you can get her to talk about herself. You need to know her more than what you already know to clear her insecurity. Unless she opens up and, offers her problems over to you, you would not be able to deal with her mean attitude or, help her cope with it either.
5. Love does it all
Maybe she is just plain unhappy or negative about life. She needs to get over that negativity to change herself completely. In spite of a lot of negative, there is still a small room for positive. How about bringing in that positive with your love? You could shower her with your love and ultimate care and, bring in that positive to her life. You could even win her by cooking dinners or taking some time out for the two of you. This way she would know that you really care and, might get into that positive web too.
6. Your Social Life
Yes, you are being a good boyfriend by helping your girl cope with her situation but, you are a human and in need of a social life too. So, don’t forget to make it a ritual to hang out with your friends once in a while. This way you won’t ever feel that you left out on something that needed your attention. With too much going on in your love life and, too much handling needed, you need a break too. So, every once in a while go out and while your time away with your friends.
7. Avoid ill Talks
It is just a matter of time and effort that will help her get over the mean attitude. In the mean-time, you need to avoid talking ill about her before your family or friends. This would mean ruining her image. Yes, you need to talk it out but not right now.
Finally, it is important to understand that if you have tried all of this and have been unsuccessful it is time to leave her. There is no point struggling on with something which cannot be done.