The ending is always difficult than the beginning. It is said that, ‘it is easy to fall in love than to fall out of it!’ Break-up, the most common phrase that we hear almost every day has destroyed many people’s lives. The very thought of being in love forges new waves of dreams in our lives. When that relationship ends, it usually leaves an individual shattered. There is no medicine in this world that can heal a broken heart. Time they say is the best healer, and time is the best companion at times like these. When everything reminds one of their past lover, then life becomes unbearable. One tends to feel trapped inside one’s body.
Some people jump to this conclusion of having a break-up when things start to get little bit irritating in a relationship. Some people get involved with someone whom they later find out to be cheating or either not suitable for them, which forces them to knock at the door of break-up. In whatever case, break-up is painful and there is no doubt about it. Having a friend who has been lately stung by this deadly monster of break-up, can be little bit disturbing for you. People who suffer break-up are likely to remember their ‘estranged’ love more than before. They fail to realise how their behavior is affecting the people around them. If you have any friend struggling with the aftermath of break-up and you are asking this question, “how to comfort a friend after a break-up?” Then this article will help you to understand the mindset of that person and what all you can do to get them out of it.
1. It hurts:
Whether you ridicule it or you like it, break-up is painful. It hurts. Handling a friend who has just suffered a break-up would be an uphill task. It is very important for you to know that people who are in love defy logic. They are usually blind to logical reasoning. When they have a break-up, they suffer a great setback. Break-up changes their perception of life. They get transformed into people who find it hard to understand the reason for their existence.
Some people are very emotional and when they have a break-up, they lose their sanity. A survey shows that suicidal tendencies increase in people who suffer break-up or divorce. You need to understand their pain and comfort them. You need to make sure that normalcy is restored in their life. If you are inconsiderate towards their pain, chances are that they might never seek your help or maintain friendship with you. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. That single or the first step is, understanding their pain. You can comfort only when you understand.
2. It Stays:
When anyone gives place to someone in their heart, it stays for a long time. Usually after break-up, people suffer from hyper tension, depression, suicidal tendencies etc. due to that space. After a break-up they feel hollow from inside, the feeling of emptiness drives them insane. As a friend, it becomes a kind of responsibility of yours to help your friend.
Help your friend to strike normalcy by doing activities which you guys used to do before he/[i]she got involved in love. One needs to understand that no pain lasts forever. There comes a point of time in life, when even the painful memory fades away. It is in vain to make your friend understand this, but it is very important for you to understand this so that it ensures the required patience and strength in you. Being with a friend who just had a break-up can be really frustrating. As you bank on the words mentioned in the above lines, you will see that it’s your friend and not you who is in the epicentre of pain.
3. It’s OK:
At times, all your friend needs is a comforting shoulder where he/ she can rest and cry. People usually need the love and support of family and friends in time of their crisis. After all, what are friends for? Break-up breaks a person emotionally. The strongest layer of human race is that of emotions. When a person has an emotional break-down, he/ she loses the meaning of life. It is at times like these when they silently seek the help and more importantly the love of their friends.
To be honest, one can do nothing at all at the time when their friend is emotionally down. Their sense to understand things take a back seat. It has been noted that they consider anyone who tries to comfort them to be their enemy. All you can do to comfort your friend is by being with him in his/ her time of need. They might say some hurtful things, but you need to understand that, only by your patience and endurance, they can get out of their depression and live a normal life.
4. They Can:
Encouragement is the only way you can help them defeat this monster of a pain. By understanding their pain, you have already helped them halfway through. Encouragement is not a one day process, it is a constant effort. A word of caution; don’t expect your friend to forget all the pain in one day. Remember, it’s a slow process. Pain takes time to leave. Be gentle and patient with your ‘ailing’ friend.
As you see your friend makes little efforts towards normalcy, encourage him to do that more. Appreciate them for their efforts. People in time of crisis don’t look for advices but for solutions. They set their eyes for a more practical way to find an exit door from the house of pain. Instead of bombarding them with advice, you can choose to be encouraging and appreciating.
Keep them involved in some activities so that their mind doesn’t go back to those thoughts. Empty mind play all kinds of tricks which can make anyone sulk. Try not to keep your friend alone for a long time. Spend as much time as possible with them. Through your actions, your friend will see that there are still people who love them and for whom they are indispensible.