A divorce, even the most amicable ones, can cause miseries. It takes with it a piece of you. Getting that piece of you back and standing tall seems a little difficult. If you are still carrying the baggage of the past, you would take time to move on. If you have kids, the situation changes completely. You have to think of your kids before you start thinking of your own self. They too are going through an emotional phase. At this moment getting involved with someone can become a problem. If your divorce is still not final, as in you are still battling for some reason, getting someone else into that scene could create legal issues. The battle just worsens when you start dating at the wrong time. With an emotional baggage, you are still not ready to move on. It is very necessary that you wait for the right time before you start seeing someone.
1. Unload the Baggage
The divorce can scar your life and, make you stay away from relationships. It is a sure-shot possibility. If you have just moved out of a marriage, you still have fresh memories and a whole load of baggage from the past relationship. It is not the right time to move on to the dating scene. You are not yet ready. You won’t even be a good date. You could use some personal time. You should ideally stay with your own self or with a set of friends. Till the time the baggage of the past is not set free, you should not consider moving into the dating scene.
2. The “Me” Time
You need some time with your own self. How about vacationing alone? It sounds a bit weird and something that you have never done before. But, it is the right time to plunge into a lone vacation. Get your back-pack ready and go out on a road trip. You can even pamper yourself to the luxuries of a big spend trip. Whatever it is that you do, it is time for a good long vacation. Move out to the beach and bask in the sun. It is fine to spend a little if you feel that you can get back to your original self.
3. Don’t Hunt
It’s not the time to hunt. Your ego has not been spared and, your self-esteem has just seen an all-time low. At this time, you should ideally spend some time challenging others to date you. You should not go behind a girl/guy. The more desperate you become, the more you hurt yourself. It is time to be a little difficult and boost your esteem. It is fine if you are not yet on the dating scene. Take time before you start dating again.
4. The Female Gang
Meet your female friends more often. You are emotionally low and, your female friends can get you out of this mess the best. You can contact your male friends as well. But, at this point your chance of getting attracted and, falling into another mess is possible. So, ensure you stay a little away from your male friends.
5. Your Ex is Your Past
A sweet way to get out of your past is by pushing your past away. Refrain from thinking or talking about your ex. Yes, you are hurt and you wish to abuse your ex as much as possible. Anger is normal. It’s best to avoid talking of your ex to anyone. If you are not the one to start, try not to entertain any conversations about your ex. It would be heartening to listen to people talking badly about your ex. But then, that pleasure is for a limited time. Also, it stops you from moving on.
6. The Crazy Side
Be as crazy as possible. Bring out that alter you that wishes to do all the crazy and funny things on this earth. Don’t restrict yourself. You have an entire life to impose self-restrictions. Right now, let the ball of craziness roll all over you and pep up your mood.
7. Goal Setting
Before entering the dating scene, you should set your future goals. It is time to reason with yourself what you really want at this moment. Are you really looking out for some fun or, you wish to get involved in a long term relationship. Is it because you are unable to handle yourself or, you are feeling too lonely for words. The thing that you would learn through this is whether you are really prepared for a new relationship or not. People feel they are ready and, fall into the traps of a new relationship. So, goal setting is an interesting way to find out what you really want.
8. Learning’s from the Past
What is it that the not-so-recent divorce has taught you? What was it that you learnt while staying with your ex? You should go through your memories, not to cry but to learn. You should spend some time to know where you went wrong and, what you could have done. These learnings would help you prepare yourself for another relationship. In fact, going through your past relation would also help you overcome the emotional battles. The moment you know where you went wrong and analyse the situation in a mature way, you are ready to throw the bitterness of the past away.
9. Get Back into Shape
Your marriage gave you no time to stay fit. You had no time to look after yourself. So, it is time you got active again. Enrol yourself into a gym and start getting back into shape. This is not for the new dating scene alone. It is time you fell in love with yourself before enticing someone else. It is time to care for yourself before someone else does the same for you.
Dating can be fun but you need to be prepared to plunge into it. Your readiness would determine your level of fun.