Since the dawn of human civilization mankind has had to grapple with finding concrete answers to apparently simple issues or aspects. However, even in the 21st century, no clear-cut opinions that’d be acceptable to all and sundry have crystallized and the debates still rage on. Surely, one such issue that has become a classic and universal conundrum is-How to understand a man and is it that difficult to understand him as it is made out to be? Are men really as unfathomable as they appear to be?
Right from the time when human history began to be scripted, human beings have been indoctrinated into believing that women are more knotty than men. There is a general belief it is more difficult to comprehend women than men. However, most women don’t subscribe to that opinion. Ask any educated, smart and successful woman about her perspective on the subject of understanding the true nature of a man, and she’d fumble for a straightforward reply.
However, the truth or reality is much more uncomplicated and comprehensible than you might assume. To state it simply without any hint of exaggeration, men are as simple as women, if not more. Men want to be cared for and loved as much as women. Men behave in much the same way as women when it comes to seeking attention and appreciation. So, neither is a man from Mars and a woman from Venus but rather two sides of the same coin.
As a woman, you’ll find it easier to understand men if you can grasp this simple fact-they’re trying to accomplish ends in life similar to yours, only that their approaches are different. Therefore, irrespective of whether you want to further your career prospects or have greater control over your love life, understanding this simple truth will help you to know your man better. You’ve got to understand and feel that your boyfriend as an individual and as a man is distinct from women. There are some easy ways to understand men that can help you to sort out any issue or problem you might be having with your partner.
1. Realise That Men Tend To Be More Visually Focussed
Of all the human senses, the sense of sight is the most sensitive and active. Of all the processing activities that our brain has to perform everyday, visual processing forms a major part. In this respect, men tend to be visually more receptive than women as their response to visual stimuli is faster. Instances from daily life overwhelmingly corroborate the above inference. Men are able to solve a problem or resolve an issue quicker if they can visualize the same.
So, whenever your boyfriend stares or ogles at other beautiful women, you tend to feel insecure and become irritated. However, you must realize that by gaping at attractive and appealing women, your man is just living up to his expectations, biologically speaking. For that matter, he is spontaneously drawn towards anything or anybody that is visually stimulating. The long and short of it all is that there is no reason to feel threatened or anxious, if your man keeps staring at a woman in a mini-skirt. Such furtive glances are more often than not instinctive, and therefore undisruptive.
2. Understand That Men Articulate Quite Differently from Women
One good way of understanding what goes on in the minds of men is to accept the generalization that men relate with others in ways that are markedly different from women. Men tend to form associations and build rapport by drawing on their mutual interests and activities. This trend becomes noticeable right from their growing up years.
A man will bond with other men while he is playing a game with others or jointly participates in activities. On the other hand, a woman is more predisposed to form ties and liaisons by discussing her problems and sharing nice little secrets with other women. Men are more impatient when it comes to having a discussion or engaging in a light banter. They have a propensity to switch from one topic to another during conversations. Since men don’t maintain eye contact when talking, you may be inclined to think that he is not interested to converse with you when you want to talk about something.
Nevertheless, instead of jumping to such a conclusion and badgering your companion with complaints of his being inattentive in conversations, you should review your approaches. Put forth the issue or problem (if it is really vital) in a manner that gets him interested and propels him to participate in a natural manner.
Men also tend to be more absorbed and focussed than women when trying to solve a problem. So, if you really want to help him settle an issue and offer your support, then you should refrain from tendering unsolicited advice. You should make it amply clear at the outset that you genuinely want to help him come up with a solution instead of lecturing him on how to go about it.
3. Recognize the Fact that Men are more Competitive
As a woman, you must realize and accept the fact that men are more competitive than women by nature, and almost thrive on struggle and competition. Trying to outperform others by competing in a fair manner is an inborn trait that sets them apart from women.
Their competitive spirit makes them more ambitious and self-driven. Now you know why your partner often gets depressed and frustrated when he doesn’t get the raise he thinks he rightly deserves or when someone less experienced than him is promoted.
If you want to bring out the best in your man and understand him in a manner he wants you to, then you should encourage the rebellious and competitive streak in him. Cheer him up and celebrate alongside him when he’s watching his favourite football or baseball team play their adversaries.
4. Be Familiar that Men are slower than Women in Identifying with Emotions
You more often get angry with him for his apparent indifference and unresponsiveness. Or get upset wondering as to why he’s not able to see things your way. You might wonder that he’s being intentionally apathetic or uncouth but this is certainly not true. He indeed may not be able to make as to why you’re upset or withdrawn. Men are prone to identifying with and reacting to emotions slower than women. Women, on the other hand are genetically more progressive when it comes to controlling emotions.
Don’t just assume that your companion can read what is going on in your mind. Don’t lash out at him when he’s not able to reason out as to why you’re aggrieved or hurt. Narrate your woes to him in as calm a manner as possible. Give him sufficient time and space to comprehend the gravity of a situation. If required, relate to him in much the same manner you’d do with a kid.
Don’t expect him to pick up your signals effortlessly. You must come to terms with the fact men are not given to discuss about their personal issues or problems as freely and openly as women do. Rather, they’ve adapted themselves to find out solutions to their problems on their own.
5. Don’t Try to Usurp the Role of His Mother
You never were your beau’s mother and never will be. So, why waste your time and effort in trying to be one? Don’t get carried by what the media or others have to say in this context. You must have gone through several articles and heard from countless people that men want to see a likeness or image of their mothers in their girlfriends. That may be true to some extent but then again, having such a feeling depends on circumstances. Don’t harass or pester your man on keeping his room tidy or washing his clothes. Just let him be on his own. After all men will be men.