A high proportion of the romantic relationships that blossom nowadays can be traced to offices and workplaces. It is estimated that nearly half of all working individuals find their prospective partners while at work or in their respective workstations. Therefore, there is every probability or possibility that you’ll bump into your future life partner in your place of work.
However, statistics and surveys regarding affairs between male and female colleagues only throw up figures. Unfortunately, these figures do not reveal the whole story behind such office romances. More often an up-and-coming romance in the office is nipped in the bud.
It usually happens when one gets mixed signals from the individual one is trying to date and develop a relationship with. He or she usually ends up misreading the signs that might be simple and plain overtures or gestures of friendliness or openness. Affairs in the office that go sour become all the more controversial and contentious especially when the parties involved happen to be the office boss or employer and his or her subordinate.
However, many affairs that bloom in the workplace go on to develop into long-term relationships. There have been many instances when two office colleagues who’ve been dating each other for quite sometime went on to tie the knot. There are so many upsides of dating someone who works in the same place as yours.
Firstly, you’ll have a close confidante whom you can trust with almost anything particularly the goings-on in office. You can use him or her as a conduit for ferreting out or passing on vital information-an activity that obviously you cannot carry out yourself. He or she can help you keep out of harm’s way.
Secondly, you’ll have the privilege of studying your colleague from close quarters almost every other day to establish whether he or she would be the right person to go out with. More importantly, observing your co-worker closely everyday will help you to decide eventually whether he or she’ll be the right individual to settle down with. Even if you’re not thinking anything beyond dating that person, you’ll at least be spared of the trouble of going on a blind date with someone who’s a complete stranger.
Since you slog for long hours in office, it is quite natural on your part to develop a close bond with an office colleague in the course of your work. However, if you’re seriously considering asking him or her out for a date, you should be in the know about your company’s guidelines or policies on dating employees. Apart from that, there are some rational tips on how to date a work colleague that you should be better aware of in case you’re deeply involved with someone in your office.
1. Always Look Before you Leap.
There is nothing illicit or immoral about taking a more than usual interest in somebody in your office or asking that person out. However, you must always keep in mind that the environment in your workplace is not the same as it used to be in your college or high-school. You must think it over, if necessary again and again before you can offer a dating proposal.
You must consider certain aspects before proceeding to ask your co-worker out for a date. Is the person married? Does he or she have kids? Do you already have a stable boyfriend or girlfriend? Is the person working in the same position as yours?
If the person is working under you, will you be charged of nepotism, if you start seeing each other beyond working hours or outside of the workplace? Will an affair affect the rapport you have with that person as a colleague? How will your employer or other workers view the affair? In case you split up, will it affect your official relationship?
2. Etiquette Matters.
Indiscretion is one thing you should avoid under all circumstances when you’re sincerely looking at the prospect of dating someone in your work area. This assumes all the more importance, if you happen to be the employer. You should observe the social etiquettes no matter how old-fashioned they sound.
Being clear about your intentions right from the start not only helps in keeping things clear but chances of being misunderstood are almost negligible as well. Never mix business with pleasure. Don’t leave understated or nuanced hints that you’re interested in the person but rather try to come clean and be specific about your intent. You’d be putting yourself in a bad light if you’re rebuffed by the individual and then giving lame excuses to wash your hands off the uncomfortable situation will make things worse for you.
3. Don’t be Indiscreet About Your Affair.
You might be tempted to share juicy details of what went on between the two of you with your other office colleagues. However, trying to spill the beans and being unnecessarily indiscreet about your affair would cause embarrassment to both of you. Your company may view your affair as a bad precedent that will give the others the handle to follow suit. Consequently, to stem the rot, you or your colleague with whom you’re having a steamy affair might be asked to leave. Try to keep details of your goings-on in your affair to yourself instead of making them public.
4. Learn to Take a ‘No’ in Your Stride.
If you’re rebuffed or refused, then do not go out of the way to turn into a ‘yes’. If your office colleague expresses his or her displeasure, then you should take it seriously. Don’t assume that there might be a slight hint or undertone of willingness behind that disapproval. Don’t cajole or pester that individual into giving you an explanation about his or her denial. Simply don’t be sarcastic or acrimonious about the entire episode. Just try to lighten up things between yourselves by trying to be humorous and funny and get back to your working ways.