Out on a date with your special someone! The best day of your life! You are all set for the day. You make sure you are looking good; have invested a lot of time choosing the perfect gift and the perfect place. You have actually made sure that nothing goes wrong. You are out with him/her at this quiet little place round the corner, having drinks and conversing, so much so that you lose track of time. But, then just when you feel everything is going right, there comes this sudden pause in the conversation. You are not sure what to say. You look out for fillers to keep the conversation going or maybe just crack a real pathetic joke. But, nothing’s working. You look out for something to rescue you but there seems to be nothing that could help. This is a situation most people would have experienced. It’s time to learn from their experiences and, find a way out of that awkward moment. A few tips have been listed based on the learning that would help you fill in the silence on a date.
1. The Good Listener’s Rescue
A good listener knows how to make a good conversation and, end that awkward silence on a date. If you are good listener, you would come up with something from the conversations you just had. You can come up with something in relation to what your date just said. This is similar to a story building exercise, just that here you would be stating facts. The best example is hobbies. If she has been talking of what she used to do as a kid or even now, you can say something similar and keep the conversation rolling. You can even talk on things that you figured are common between the two of you. This would not bring that break in the conversation.
2. Fun with Questions
A sudden halt in the conversation? Strike your date with an open ended question. You would actually start the ball of conversation rolling once again. A question like “what do you do in your spare time” or, maybe “what is your idea of a vacation” could make an interesting conversation. The questions should be as general as possible with no hint of anything way too personal. An interesting and debatable topic can also lead to a good conversation. In short, the questions should be as casual and as interesting as possible. This way you can ensure that the awkward silence does not creep in and spoil your date.
3. Topics from the Surroundings
Your surroundings can also give you a lot many things to discuss. Observe whats going on in your surroundings. The ambience and the culture of the surroundings can open new arenas to your conversation. If you get to talking of ambience you would end up discussing different restaurants and places and their culture. In short, the moment where you felt the conversation was dying would immediately go away. You can even discuss the people in your surroundings. Ensure you don’t make any sort of cheap or personal comments on anyone. This may not be appreciated by your date!
4. Love the Silence
It’s fine if silence has walked into your date. The silence is fine as long as it is not awkward. The moment it becomes awkward, it leads to a problem. You just need to feel the moment, be in the moment. Your body speaks a language of its own. Let the silence allow your eyes and body do the talking. You would make better conversations through the non-verbal languages. Work on removing the awkward from the silence. The first thing that you must develop is confidence to ensure you can make the silence seem beautiful.
5. Unveil your Date
Getting to know your date is one thing, wanting to know your date is a completely different thing. It is this “want” that can set a lot many conversations. Get in the curiosity to kill those awkward moments. When you start becoming curious, you have no time for even a moment’s pause while conversing. Your curiosity to know more about your date would lead to time crunch on a date. Unveil the person your date is and, you would have a lot of stuff to talk. Even if you are a non-conversationalist, you would have tons to talk about if you unleash your curiosity.
6. The Self Inhibition
Sometimes you tend to discipline yourself to talk less. This can bring about a lull in the conversation. It is only when such things happen that the pause time begins. Unwind yourself to the tunes of the conversation. It does not matter, at times, what you say. Just keep talking! Sometimes even nonsense starts making sense. You just need to be confident of what you are talking about. The thought that you want to make an “impression” can lead to a disastrous date.
7. The Conversationalist’s Technique
You can become a conversationalist if you follow some basic guidelines of building a conversation. A conversation can rise from anything. If you feel there’s going to be a dull moment, talk about the latest in the news. You can start building your conversation from such small bits. Try finding out what your date likes to talk about. Sometimes, a few minutes into the conversation would give you an idea about it. You can talk of the latest happening in that sector. Sometimes, a background study on your date can give you ideas on what to talk with your date.
8. Avoid Monosyllables
If you are on a date and you are asked a question, avoid answering using “yes”/“no”. This acts as a conversation spoiler. Instead, try to form a conversation from that question. Sometimes, monosyllables can kill the date for good. It’s best to form proper and full answers to every question.
Let go of the awkwardness and stop thinking of the date as a demon. Be yourself! You can charm your date best by being yourself. It always works!