So, I was walking home one night and I found my neighbor on the porch, sitting on the steps to be precise. He kind of looked down and miserable, and considering that he is usually a cheerful person, I decided to drop by and enquire. Turns out, he is just suffering from a dilemma. The same dilemma that has dogged us all at some point or the other- How to tell if you are in love! It is ironical that this guy, who was suave and carefree otherwise, was perturbed by something as (supposedly) simple a thing as love!
You might be sitting there wondering what the big deal is about discerning if you are in love; you already think you know how. The common notion is twofold: One is where you JUST KNOW; you just know that you are in love; you just know that you cannot live without your partner; you just know that you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with that special someone; you just know! The other one is the one spread through cheesy romantic flicks or novels- the gushing wind on your hair, the butterflies in your stomach that just won’t go away, the fireworks, the loss of sleep and appetite in thoughts about him/her. Even if they both are true, and that’s a big if there, in the fast paced world that we live in, it is extremely difficult to demarcate such subtle emotions; and also, the feelings described in the second notion are frankly too farfetched for reality.
So, here are 15 signs that will indicate clearly whether you are in love or not. And the best thing about these signs is that they work- in real life.
1. It’s Easy to Communicate:
This is an important sign. Any successful relationship requires communication that is open and comfortable. Hence, if you find yourself sharing a good rapport and able to express your feelings, your needs and aspirations effortlessly across to your partner, then it’s a clear indication that you both share something that can pave way to the elusive love. When you are in love, it is not just the language or the words that help you communicate but also the body language. If you are able to understand the subtle nuances in your partner’s body language, then you already have a deep bond.
2. Open Up:
You shed your guard and talk of the little things about yourself, the intimate things, the special things, the things that no one else knows. When you are in love and trust someone, you feel yourself open up more and more. You start confiding things that you would normally find hard talking about to other people. Love is built on a bridge of trust and when trust is established, it becomes easier to open your heart to your partner.
3. Go The Extra Mile:
There will always be some things that your partner likes that you find annoying or that you hate, but if you are in love, you will find that you are willing to do it, however much you hate it. You may complain, throw a tantrum or argue about it, but when all is said and done, you will go the extra mile for the simple reason that your partner likes it.
4. A Future Together:
Your decisions today are swayed and influenced by the future you envisage with your partner. If you find yourself unconsciously or consciously taking your partner into consideration when you plan for the future, then you are obviously in love.
5. Good, Bad and the Ugly:
You are prepared to share not just your good moments but also the bad ones, even the ugly ones. Life is not a bed of roses and as such you will definitely find yourself faced with situations that are undesirable, to say the least. If you are in love, you will be willing to share such moments, seeking and expecting comfort. You will also be able to reveal the bad sides you have, the side that you do not normally show in public.
6. Know About the Past:
You are eager to know more about the past of your partner. And by that I don’t mean just their past relationships but also their childhood, their family, their high school and college life, stories and anecdotes about them while growing up- things that you have no definite idea about.
7. Trust and Respect:
These are the two pillars in building a successful relationship, more so in the case of love. If you are in love, then you will definitely have them despite the troubles that you are bound to encounter in a relationship.
8. You Can Be Yourself:
You are comfortable being yourself around them; most importantly, you are happy being who you really are. You feel safe and secure enough to show all the colors of your emotions.
9. In Your Thoughts:
As childish and immature as it may sound, if you randomly think about them and what they are doing, then you obviously have a special place for them in your heart. It does not mean that you have to think about them all the time, a random thought or an unexpected fond memory is all you need.
10. Physical Chemistry:
This is a very important aspect of a relationship, as important as the mental and spiritual compatibility. When you are in love, you feel a more powerful connection; you feel a different sensation, a far cry from what you have experienced before. It will feel almost magical.
11. Happy Silence:
It is not possible to always talk or have fun. Sometimes, it is important to be happy and content in the silence too. You are happy with his/her company even without having to talk.
12. You Have Your Own Life Too:
It is a common misconception that you have to be a complete part of your partner’s life. When you are in love, you understand the need for space. Having your own lives and still wanting to spend time after that shows commitment and understanding.
Your partner is a top priority for you, in spite of all the pressures that you undoubtedly face in life from all quarters.
14. Together, Better:
Both of you undoubtedly have flaws, but together you are better than what you could be separate. Even if you don’t realize it straight away, on closer inspection you will realize that you both really are the better halves of each other.
15. Agreements in Disagreements:
There will always be disagreements. You cannot always share the same opinions and beliefs, but you realize that making compromises and adjustments are more important. In short, you put your relationship over petty egos.
There is no perfect love; there can actually be none. But there is love and with the help of the above steps you will be able to understand if you have fallen into it.